by Annette Meyer
The light of early morning lessens in increments as the incessant wind carries heavily burdened grey clouds, filling in the blue sections until finally the sunshine ceases to rule the sky. The soft airy breaths puffing through tree boughs teases vegetation, ruffles flower fronds and stirs up dust. Whish-ing breath sounds increase as wet droplets begin to slide downward. Dashed against the dry soil and quickly soaked into the thirsty earth, the sustaining rain comes gently.
Mom is away early this morning to attend a four hour informational class for hip replacement patients before they will schedule her surgery. Seems quite silly and redundant to actually delay scheduling her surgery for over a month now and require this extensive class of her, since she has actually had and successfully recovered from not one but two hip replacements in the past. She wouldn’t be having this surgery if she hadn’t fallen and injured her hip recently, and in the process somehow damaged the hardware that had been up to this point working perfectly!
But, sadly in this day and age for doctors and hospitals, insurance regulations are not allowing common sense to override when clear-cut medical issues can be addressed speedily and without so much fanfare. How is delaying her necessary surgery for so long acting in her overall best interest? It’s broken, it’s continuously painful, she needs it to be fixed, so just do it already! Sigh!
I leap upon my soapbox quickly when it comes to the twisted mindset that we Americans have been brainwashed into. Insurance companies control us with their maze of requirements that can often be dangerous to longterm health and wellbeing. I say that encouraging and supporting wellness programs for everyone is so much more beneficial to people overall than allowing them to sink to low levels that then require intensive intervention while trying to build these people back up again, sigh, sigh, sigh. But, I digress, I shall stash the soapbox for another day.
As I write, Daddy lies abed across the hallway, his rhythmic breathing tells me that after the morning routine we just completed he has fallen asleep once again. As the Parkinson’s Disorder advances, sleeping is what he does most of the time these days.
His kind eyes hold a constant sense of resolved quietness as he endures this challenge; his tiredness permeates the atmosphere. It is disheartening when one’s quality of life has been diminished down to eat, sleep and wait for whatever comes next. In the past five years he has dramatically rebounded from these episodes several times and gets back to being the clever witted, humorous, sincere man that I call Daddy, but that renewal is not happening so much or so often anymore.
Many years ago I encountered the ‘quantity vs quality of life’ dilemma when faced with a traumatic ‘life and death situation’ in the family. In my deepest personal ponderings I decided for myself that while my inner desire to live long and prosper (that’s quantity) is strong, when it must be synchronized with the harshest of realities that some encounter in this daily struggle I would rather live my life with quality than rack up quantity and be miserable in the doing; no vegetative state for me if I have a choice.
I believe that we each have a mandate to live well and fully until our preset appointed time to die arrives. I take comfort in knowing that Our Creator and Sustainer controls all our coming ins and our going outs.
…A time to be born, a time to die… When the Giver of Life says “your times up” that IS the moment death will happen; not before, not after. There’s just no sense to worrying about things that we cannot change.
Meanwhile until that final day arrives we must keep our focus upon living life fully in a positive way, to humble ourselves and allow guidance into His directed spiritual pathways by willingly committing ourselves to live this life boldly. As a willing instrument held in the capable hands of the Almighty let us use our time wisely – always in service to His honor and glory. For as long as we draw our human breath, let His all-encompassing Love fill our lives to overflowing.
Father, mold and shape us as you intend in this life, drawing us ever nearer to your perfection so that we can be worthy of spending eternity in your presence in the life to come! As your purified vessel here on earth, we ask that you would use us to pour that same saving gift of grace and your Living Truth into the lives of others as they seek you!
Father, we desire to wholly worship YOU at all times! Let the Fruits of Your Spirit be evident in our daily thoughts, actions and attitudes. Give us the hunger to eat the book, the desire to seek you above all earthly treasures, and the enduring Hope that shall keep us abiding in Your Way till our tired eyes are closed and our last breath fades away as the gift of life returns unto you.
We know that You will not fail to remember your faithful servants on the day of reckoning.
HalleluYah and Amen