by Annette Meyer
As a writer, I’ve been struggling for the past week to find a good subject for this week’s blog. It’s being posted late because appropriate words simply would not come! Even my stream-of-consciousness writing method led to many false starts that ended up being rejected in their entirety as they turned into anxious diatribes. They will work for my own private introspection as I access what fears and shortcomings lie within myself, but I have determined that glorifying any negativity shall not be my purpose for this blog. Expressing myself publicly is a responsibility that I take seriously. I choose to adhere to the ‘If you don’t have anything uplifting to say, be silent till you do’ concept. In time, when I’m answering for my every word spoken, I want as many of them as possible to be judged wholesome!
Perhaps the answer as to why I was not being productive with writing this past week lies in this strange mixture of cold and allergies that has kept me feeling sniffly and sneezy with an itchy nose and scratchy throat. Being disoriented and out of sync with a sound thought process is not a place to write from with clarity. Perhaps I’m succumbing to the general sense of dysfunction and darkness so evidently swirling in the entire nation these days. I’ve heard a number of people commenting about this same sense of being unfocused at this moment in time. It seems every place that I’ve turned to find inspiration this week, I have quickly been confronted with some kind of boiling turmoil and contention. The one repetitive question that resounds through my mind this week has been ‘Where can I go except to Him?’
On the radio, in print, online, every news report, whether good or bad, has me wondering if it’s fake. Articles, whether political, environmental or scripturally based have a specific point that is either calling for someone to “hit them hard, rah rah rah go team” in their attitude, or just as equally vehemently opposing some ill-conceived action. ‘Alternative facts’ stick out of most every discussion that I hear or review. Unsettling attitudes and behaviors surrounding me have pushed in hard on a daily basis. I have certainly looked for peace where no peace was to be found.
Coming from someone who is gleaning for inspiration to speak a few words of encouragement–hoping to be helpful to others by sharing positive words to aid in finding something to smile about–all this exposure to constant internet drama has been somewhat depressing!
It is not just me either. Even the weather is acting out of sorts. Yesterday it was a surprisingly gorgeous 75 degree February day, perfect for barefootin’, laying back in the grass and watching clouds with the grandkids. Today has chilled down, and tonight it’s supposed to snow, accompanied by 20-30 mph winds!
For me that’s way too much meteorological commotion stuffed into less that 48 hours. Tonight I have a rare but quite bothersome headache brought on from all these sudden barometric changes; my head is throbbing just enough to keep me awake.
I have spent way too many years of my life being exhausted and sleep deprived! I have spent almost as many years now to subdue and successfully overcome that bad health-wrecking habit. I LIKE my full eight hours of restful sleep; it’s a pleasant hobby that I thoroughly enjoy participating in. Over the years I have learned that to be at peace, strong boundaries must be set and remain well guarded; therefore whatever interferes with my nightly sleep has Got.To.Go!
During times when I’m feeling almost completely closed in by excessive negativity, I have learned that my peace and salvation is to be found in the comforting arms of the Most High. My constant safety zone is spending time with Him in prayer.
‘Abba Father, I am so aware that this world is in an ever-increasing state of crisis, just as you have foretold. I ask for the promise of Your Peace that passes all understanding to settle in upon each of those who seek your face.
‘Let us quickly seek refuge in You when troubles abound. Pour out your Spirit upon your faithful, wherever they may be scattered around this world. Enlighten them, be their go-to for strength in all adversity, their comfort in ongoing oppression. Enable us all, despite the efforts of the adversary, to wholly trust in You, to rise up ever higher and to yearn to know you ever more intimately. Let our daily lives be a powerful witness of our growing faith.’
While in quiet prayer time a thought rises upward through the distracting pain. I have remembered a song that was sent to me decades ago as I cried out in a time of great emotional darkness. The heaven-sent lyrics states all of this very well. And of course, in the midnight hour I quietly sing:
“Help me Show my faith in the way I walk.
Help me Live my faith by the way I talk.
In these troubled times
let my feet not stray
As I walk along on this Narrow Way.
Reaching out my hand to others serve
You give me strength
when I don’t have the nerve
To wipe away the tears,
and to share the pain
Helping those trodden down
to rise up again!
Halleluyah, I’ll praise Yahweh!
With His guiding hand
in my life each day.
In His sheltering arms,
storms raging all around;
Teaching His wisdom, to show
where salvation is found.”
As always happens, when I return unto Him a song that has been sent, my inner being is comforted. I realize that my headache has quickly faded away. With a smile in the night, I humbly say ‘thank you for the release’, for I know that I shall now slip into an easy slumber as He stands watch over me.
I snuggle in to sleep, perchance to dream of a grand place where only peace reigns and we shall be forever in His presence. Now that place will be something to blog about!
Good night to all; I pray that you have a blessed week to come!