The morning breaks early with an extensive variety of birdsong outside the bedroom window. My ears identify a murder of crows cawing, the shrill of a hungry hawk, the loud buzz of tiny wings and insistent calls of swift hummingbirds as they try to intimidate each other away, but eventually end up begrudgingly sharing the one feeder on the porch. Tweets, chirps, and assorted whistling grow louder as the day brightens and more feathered friends awaken and join the chorus. I open my tired eyes to see the growing light and sigh.
By far the insistent quacking of ducks, crowing of roosters and the cackling of hens are the loudest of all the bird calls. They insistently remind me with their increasing cacophony that me lazing around here, selfishly reclining on my soft pillow, ignoring the reality of the world outside for just a little while longer isn’t good for their tummies and they want no excuses, just bring their breakfast NOW!
After a short while my guilt crescendos. Sighing, yawning, I give in to the reality of my adult responsibilities. My feet touch the floor. Suddenly it’s Wednesday again. I must rise and greet the day no matter what I actually feel like doing.
There’s the weeks trash to be carried to the roadside before 8 for pickup, chickens to be fed watered and already first eggs from the early layers to be collected, and possibly a rabbit water bottle and bowl for the cats to be refilled before I even start inside the house on housework chores and morning caregiving for my collection of invalids.
Personal time; always on the back burner. My breakfast coffee will be inserted in there at some point but it’s often forgotten in the mad rush of meeting everyone else’s immediate needs, whether human or animal.
For a homemaker and a full-time caregiver, the regular to-do list is perpetually ongoing and always long and multiplies with each new person added to the headcount.
Mouths to feed, clothes to launder (so many steps involved in that one specific chore–collect, sort, wash, dry, fold, occasionally mend, then put away. Baths to supervise, beds to make, vacuuming, sweeping then mopping, the list goes on ad nauseum.
Some folks go off to work in another place, some work from the home, some folks are disabled and don’t have a specific job to do, but still need to be engaged in some variety of distraction to occupy their time and maintain sanity.
Perpetually never ending, constantly ongoing, ever increasing pressures of daily life compound, designed to burden us physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, to wear us down in every possible way, distracting us from what we need to focus upon most; the weightier spiritual matters.
In all the demanding cacophony of everyday living; with the needs of everyone and everything that floods in upon me, I’m so busy working my conveyor belt routine to do for others that without realizing it, I lose my own personal connection. I become unplugged from the power source and much too quickly there’s no charge left in the battery!
Woman down, with multiple injuries! Quick let’s pray for healing and restoration!
When do I in the mad rush of my daily business spend any quality time with The Source of All Life? Astounded, I have faced the fact a number of times that my business is busyness and my busyness is an idol! Plain and simple; anything that comes before establishing and maintaining a one-on-one relationship with my Creator is an I.D.O.L!
My multitasking is like strapping on an empty backpack in the morning. I shoulder this day’s burden, walk to the conveyor belt and flip the switch. With quick hands working, eyes focusing on what’s before me, I’m sorting and separating random items that move past me. Certain specific items are tossed over my shoulder into the backpack (very important but there’s no time now; to be dealt with later in quieter times!)
All my “conveyor belt activity” occurs while walking on a treadmill that soon begins to randomly incline upwards and down.
Then, at intervals the treadmill also becomes an elliptical, speeding up and slowing down with no set pattern! There’s no rhyme nor reason to any of this activity now; it all becomes a blur! Just keep going somehow and get it done so I can go to bed!
The backpack fills up quickly. Soon the challenge of balancing the burden being carried while focusing upon the fancy footwork and the ever increasing magnitude and size of the items to be sorted on the conveyorbelt…. This lifestyle is oppressive, I am an automaton.
The physical weight becomes unbearable, exhaustion takes away human ability, disillusionment that I am still not enough, Emotional stress of always failing to keep up with expectations triggers an anxiety attack… finally, at the end of me, I simply can not do anything more!
The proverbial straw breaks this camel’s back!
The multitasking is obviously life’s tumultuous ebbs and flow.
The backpack is where I toss the opportunities to pause and praise, words of thanksgiving I’ve left unspoken, smiles I could have given, the tiny 5 minute thought prayers I didn’t offer, the fruits of the Spirit droplets that could have strengthened and refreshed me had I taken them internally, the good kind and wonderful thoughts designed to lift me up, the caress not realized as He wiped the sweated brow, not paying attention to every good and wonderful thing that is sent from heaven above (in the midst of life’s journey) to enable me to grow fully in spirit and the truth of His Love!
The crushing burden in the backpack is my blessing that I am rejecting! I, by putting this moment by moment relationship building off till later in order to do other things first, have effectively separated my own self from His promised nurturing and caregiving! I have rejected His ongoing vigilance, His tender mercies, His never failing LOVE for His children! The backpack is filled with His precious gifts, jewels that I have purposely devalued rather than recognizing they are meant to be embraced and internalized as they arrive!
My yoke becomes easy, my burden becomes light when I put away “I must do it all myself” and acknowledge that only He should lead me by day and by night. Knowing that I can never accomplish anything in my own power, but only by completely submitting to be an instrument with His Power flowing through me, directed into the lives of others at His Will .
Each day of my life is filled with new opportunity. That is yet another of His blessings; a second chance to do it better!
My renewed resolution;
To have my backpack be totally empty when I strap it on each morning and when I remove it each night!
Diamonds In The Rough!